Revolution of the Kind People

Kindness

What is kindness? There are many ways to define its essence. For me, on this website, kindness revolves mostly around giving space to soft qualities:

  • Being patient
  • Using empathy
  • Creating space for the other
  • Allowing Silence
  • Growing slowly
  • Caring softly
  • Embracing warmly

The main reason for developing an explorative process around kindness was my own experience. I discovered that I had many talents and qualities that didn’t receive the attention they deserved, simply because they weren’t “loud” or “expressive” enough by nature. We live (where I’m from) in a dominant culture of extraverts, valuing mostly proactive, visible and practical qualities. Which are wonderful!

However, there are other sides to existence as well. Recently, I overheard a friend stating that if someone doesn’t feel comfortable, “they should just have shared that.” There is some truth in this statement; it’s always good to clearly set boundaries and express your feelings. But for me, it is also very normal to sense other people’s experiences, without having to ask them how they feel. I take into account what they do and don’t like, without them having to express it. And I’m proud of this habit!

Over the passed few years, I’ve learned that there are different ways to live your life, and that most of us make (unconscious) decisions about which to use. In this case, simply stated, some choose to mainly relate to their own needs, also clearly sharing them with their surroundings and waiting for others to do the same. Others decide to sense the needs of those around them, expecting the same in return from their peers. Of course, when these two types of people meet, some things can go wrong.

Don’t get angry! This is not meant to be judgmental. It is only logical that those who more easily raise their voice, within a culture that primarily values just that, are the ones that are being heard. This is not strange, and we don’t have to panic about that. I do strongly believe, however, that we need to find ways to create more balance. And let’s be honest: the more introverted, patient and empathetic people are not going to “fight” for their rights the way practicals would do. They are not going to “just share that.”

What does all of this have to do with Kindness? Can’t extraverted people be kind as well? Yes! Certainly! What’s more, the divide between extravert and introvert is a spectrum and I only use these terms for lack of better ones. One of the reasons I use them is that being an introvert is still often labeled as a bad quality. Like something to get rid of. But I think that there is much value to being shy, to rather waiting and observing before acting, and to spending much time alone. I believe that one quality is not better than the other and it’s about finding balance between all sides of existence.

To conclude, the connection between kindness and the different ways of living is that Kindness could be the connecting force between opposite perspectives. Kindness is like a cosmic glue, or a transcendental language that we can all understand and use to find each other. It’s wonderful and vital that we’re all different. The world is such a beautiful and diverse plays and we will never stop learning. The world is also unbalanced, unfortunately, and we need Kindness to restore stability and equity. Kindness can be our teacher on the way, showing us how to bring together world that seem like other dimensions. Kindness can be our friend in the dark, which is not a bad place by the way; the dark is amazing.

Because that’s not our nature. We will not shout and push others away. We don’t enjoy fighting. And again, this is not to say that the more extraverted qualities are bad or anything like that. This is a plea for balance.