I cannot begin to describe how wonderful it feels to express my thoughts.

So much has been happening within me for the past almost 6 (!) years. Until now, I wasn’t strong enough to share about it. Transformation takes a lot of energy, and I’ve been bursting with information. Now, it’s finally time.

…to plant SEEDS. Just seeds are enough. This is one of my most significant lessons. Not everything has to happen today. There are many steps to take between it’s never happening and it must happen now. I learned this from nature.

When we follow the seasons, it becomes strange to have New Year’s resolutions. January is a time to stand still. To wait. To rest and digest. It’s not a time to start new things.

It is a time, however, in which seeds are buried, frozen, and preserved under the soil. It is a time full of potential. It is a time to practice waiting.

I’d like to learn more about the act of waiting. I’ve never been a very patient person. As soon as I envision an end goal, I want to be there. My brother once pointed out to me that living makes no sense if you’re just running from one goal to the next. It took me a while to truly understand.

Now, I see that waiting is beautiful. Just like the cold, the silence, and the patience of winter. I understand that it is essential for new things to begin. Also, my body welcomes the waiting and resting with open arms.

I have discovered another thing: I can be my own kind of guide. I’ve been inspired by many others. I also tried to be like them, share like them, guide like them. It didn’t work. I lost my ability to reach people. I learned that I guide others by opening up about myself. That’s my unique way, and I’m learning to love it.

I say this with a bit of caution. Everyone can be their own kind of guide, but professionalization is required. Guiding is a serious task. If you feel a calling, you need to equip yourself with the necessary skills to ensure safety. Guiding is about creating and safeguarding a space for vulnerable exchange and learning. You need to take that seriously.

To end with; I’ve taken a big step. To practice waiting and strengthen my guidance, I quit one of my two jobs. I don’t have a plan yet. I wanted to free up more time for resting and exploring. I want to open up space for something new to approach me. I want to nourish my seeds.

Where will this bring me? I don’t know. I don’t want to know yet. It’s scary! But I’m becoming more certain. Something good will come. First, let’s patiently wait. ❆

Would you like to explore winter? Here is a Guided Winter Meditation.